‘My future husband is 22 years older than me – but people always think he’s my dad’

Brooke McNelis, 34, has been with her fiancé Pat, 56, for seven years – and says trolls accuse him of being her ‘wallet’, but she insists she works hard and pays for her own stuff

A woman whose partner is 22 years her senior reveals he’s regularly mistaken for her father and he’s often accused of being her “wallet” – but she insists that’s not the case.

Brooke McNelis, 34, first met her fiancé Pat, 56, seven years ago when she was 28 and he was 50, after being introduced through a mutual acquaintance. It comes after another woman revealed her even larger age gap relationship.

Brooke, who works in medical sales, revealed her mum had always advised her to pursue older men and fully backs their romance. She explained she was immediately drawn to Pat’s appearance and “great banter”, and the duo, both hailing from San Diego, California, USA, have been devoted to each other ever since. Brooke now shares her relationship on TikTok under @brookemcnelis.

Despite being confused for father and daughter and online critics branding Pat as Brooke’s financial provider, the pair remain blissfully content. Brooke explained: “My mum always said I needed to date older, but she laughs now and says ‘I didn’t meant that much older’.

“I was instantly attracted to Pat, first of all to his looks, but we have the best banter that no one understands but us and that’s all that matters. He makes me feel safe and he’s home to me.

“I make a lot of TikTok saying Pat’s my ‘wallet’, but that’s just a joke to me that people online love to run with. I get a lot of comments saying we look like dad and daughter and that I must have daddy issues.

“We’ve been mistaken for father and daughter in person as well. I work really hard and pay for my own stuff, so it’s more of an inside joke about our age gap and how people assume things.

“Our dynamic is actually really balanced. He supports me emotionally, not financially, and we have a lot of mutual respect. We just like to poke fun at the stereotypes.”

Brooke and Pat, who earns his living as a CFO for various start-ups, crossed paths in February 2019 through Brooke’s university best mate – whose step mum happens to be Pat’s sibling.

Brooke shared: “I met Pat through my best friend in college. Pat is her step uncle her step-mum and Pat are brother and sister.

“I’d never dated anyone with such a big age gap before. I was at first concerned about older men being stuck in their ways but he has adapted very well and so have I.”

She revealed that her mum had always nudged her towards dating someone older due to her maturity and responsible nature. Brooke mentioned that her mum, Jill, 60 and step-dad, adore Pat, and have welcomed him into the family fold.

She understands that is most likely took time for her friends and family to get used to the 22 year age-gap. But, she reassures that everyone “loves him.”

She added: “I feel like they had their initial reaction but once they got to know, Pat and I together and see our relationship all that went away.

“It’s a shock for people at first, but once you see our dynamic, you would understand.” The pair clicked right from the start, getting engaged in January 2023 and are now busy planning their nuptials.

Despite Pat being in his 20s when Brooke was born, she insists that their age difference hasn’t posed any problems in their relationship.

She added: “It’s actually been a really positive experience as we’ve both taught each other new things and learned a lot from one another.

“We actually have a ton in common. We both love to ski, boat, and work out together, and we share similar values and outlooks on life.

“The age difference hasn’t really mattered. What’s most important is how well we connect and enjoy life together.” They’re also in agreement when it comes to family planning, as Pat already has a daughter studying at university, and Brooke doesn’t desire any children of her own.

Even though Pat’s daughter is closer in age to Brooke than he is, this hasn’t stirred up any conflict, and the trio get along splendidly.

Brooke shares her relationship online and often receives a barrage of negative comments – many accusing her of having “daddy issues.” But she also receives supportive messages, including from those who are hesitant to reveal to their families that they’re in an age gap relationship.

“I help people that are afraid to tell their families”, she said. “I love that I’m so vulnerable about our relationship because there are a lot of people scared to come forward with an age gap partner.”

“We’re happy, we’re healthy, and we understand each other deeply. We don’t expect everyone to understand our dynamic, but we do ask for the same respect and openness we show others.”

Pat continued: “I think Brooke is an amazing person and our relationship is amazing. She keeps me young and she’s so fun to be around we are able to have in depth conversations with each other.”

She documents her story on TikTok @brookemcnelis.